A Spider and a Weirdo
by OhSweetRiver
Summary: Peter loses everything and gets very sick; luckily Wade Wilson is there for the rescue! Eventual smut, slash, offensive language and blood in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1 The Unfortunate Beginning

**Yo. This is my first Spideypool fic and Wade's a little OOC but frankly my dear I don't give a damn. Don't hate.**

**Peter loses everything and gets very sick; luckily Wade Wilson is there for the rescue! Eventual smut, slash, offensive language and blood in later chapters. **

**Disclaimer: sadly, I do not own these characters.**

**Enjoy!**

I crawled out of bed, still in my costume. Guess I didn't change before passing out last night. Not that in matters, anyway. My suit has been beyond dirty for quite a while, considering I can't afford to go to the laundromat anymore. I sighed. Another worthless day of filth and despair. This is why Harry and MJ left me, cause of all this filth that surrounds me. Harry even offered to have me live with him, but... I couldn't do that for the same reason I can't live on welfare or with my dads. After losing my job and all my money MJ finally showed me her dark side. The filthy, golddigging skank took all the money I had left and ran off with Harry, if only for his money. They don't even talk to me anymore. I dropped out of college, I didn't have any time for it. My life now consisted of a filthy apartment, living off of cheap hotdogs from the venders of NYC, and being Spider-Man. I've been slipping on the last one too.

I looked at the clock. It was 2 pm already, and I actually went to bed around 11 last night. For some reason I was still tired as all hell. I looked out the "window" which was really just a big hole in the wall. It was raining again. I jumped out and flung a web at a nearby building and-

I ran out of webs. I fell the the hard ground below. Onto a white car, actually. It's alarm went off and I ran before the owner came. I felt really dizzy... Nauseous, almost. As for why I couldn't swing webs I had no idea. I didn't dwell on it much, compared to all that's happened it didn't seem like that much of a big deal. I heard police sirens coming, and I knew Jameson had declared me a menace to society and I was a wanted man, so I darted down an empty alleyway. I was really exhausted, and freezing. So I curled up into a ball against a building. I closed my eyes for a moment...

And forgot to open them again.

-Wade-

[white box-deeper, responsible voice]

{yellow box-high pitch, random voice}

I was sitting on the ledge of a building eating a BEAUTIFUL chimichanga when I saw the Itsy-bitsy spider crawl out a whole and swing a web towards my face. However, it stopped short and he fell to the ground, landing on a white minivan. I laughed histarically as he made an attempt at running that was more stumbling in a zig zag. "Oh, little bug..." He trudged down a dark alley as a police car raced past. I kissed my chimichanga "We'll meet again someday, my love." I threw it behind me and dropped to the ground. Of course I didn't feel anything cause of my awesome healing factor! I'm so awesome.

{What? We're giving up our precious Mexican heaven for the webhead?}

[He's obviously not well, idiot, and we have to make sure he's okay]

I frowned, "not to mention he gives my heart dem thumps."

{that was true poetry, man! I'm getting all teary-eyed...}

I tried to ignore the voices for a moment and followed Spidey into the alleyway. He had curled himself in a ball beside a building and fallen asleep. {aaaaww Spidey's taking a nap!} [he's unconscious] I sighed and shook him a little bit. He didn't react at all. I felt his forehead, it was burning hot. "Yikes, you're sicker than yellow box. {hey!} better get you to a proper bed." I picked him up and teleported home. I put him down on my bed and stripped him out of his wet uniform before throwing some blankets on him. {well, that's taken care of, let's go get tacos!} [we're not getting tacos, this man obviously needs help!] "oh, we're getting tacos, just after I take care of Spidey." I smiled, humoring the voices in my head and probably looking a bit crazy. {yay, tacos!}


	2. Chapter 2 Informal Names

**HAI I made another update cause this entire book is done for over a year so pffft. Here's the old-new chapter**

**Peter loses everything and gets very sick; luckily Wade Wilson is there for the rescue! Eventual smut, slash, offensive language and blood in later chapters. **

**Disclaimer: sadly, I do not own these characters.**

**Enjoy!**

-Peter-

When I next woke up I was in an unfamiliar bed. It was warm and comfortable and it didn't look like any bad guys were about to kill me so I was reluctant to get up. By the bed was a dehumidifier and a cup of fresh, hot tea. Wherever I was, I was being taken care of. I didn't like it. Felt like charity. I still felt so tired, but I had to get out of there, so I got up and stumbled to the door. I opened it and-

"_What the fuck are you doing out of bed, Webs?!_" An all too familiar voice almost shouted. It was Deadpool. Shit. Before I could say anything he hauled me into the air and dropped me on the bed.

"I'm going home." I muttered, trying to get up again.

"Sowwy, but the wittle buggy's too sick," he pushed me back down. "Ya gotta fever of 106. You're not going anywhere like that even if I let you."

"I'm fine" I lied.

"Look, you may think I'm some baaad guy who'll do anything for a quick buck," he steamed, "and it's probably true, but I'm trying to HELP you here!"

"I don't want your help." I spat.

He sighed, "... shut up yellow voice." he said, causing much confusion on my part. "look I'm not gonna fight you here. You're sick and you need rest so just give me a fucking chance. See? I'm not making stupid jokes or being sarcastic or anything. I'm being a fucking sincere, rational guy and 'caring' about you. So fucking. Let. Me. Help."

We starred at each other for a while until I finally gave up. "Fine."

-Wade-

[I don't like him. He's too stubborn] {I agree with white box, lets go make tacos!} I wish they'd stop talking. I wish for once they'd leave me alone so I could actually figure shit out. But no, they're always there. Always. Fucking. There. {Hey! You're brakin my heart here, man!} Oh, I know I am. Does it burn, yellow voice? Does it fucking burn? {Y U gotta be so cold?} I bet it does, I bet my words hurt in your empty, meaningless, nonexistent heart. {WAAAAAA! WHITE BOOOOOX! Wade's being mean to meeeee!} [shut up, yellow box.]

I had to deal with that internal argument while also fighting with webs. When I finally got through to him I wasn't really mad at the voices anymore. I was kinda guilty, actually. Sorry, yellow voice. { *sniffle* yeah... Jerk...} I smiled at Webs. Though he couldn't see it through my mask.

"I made you some tea. It'll help you feel better." I pointed at the bedside table. "Your suit's in the wash. Have you ever washed that thing? It was filthy. Figured I should keep your mask and underwear on, though."

Webs drank his tea, and said nothing. "You warm enough? I've got more blankets in the closet."

He nodded. "So what's your real name? I feel like calling you 'Webs' or 'Spidey' is too impersonal."

He just stared at me for a while. I sighed. "Secret, I guess. Or maybe you just don't like me. That's fine. FYI my name's Wade. Wade Wilson." I Turned and was about to leave, but...

"Peter." He said

I looked at him. "Peter. That's a nice name." I turned again and walked out.


	3. Chapter 3 Not as delusional as suspected

**Woo three chapters in a day!**

**Peter loses everything and gets very sick; luckily Wade Wilson is there for the rescue! Eventual smut, slash, offensive language and blood in later chapters. **

**Disclaimer: sadly, I do not own these characters.**

**Enjoy!**

I slept the rest of the day. I woke up the next day sometime in the late afternoon and if you hadn't guessed it, I was still tired. Wade had left a bowl of soup for me today. It was getting cold by now, and I really didn't feel like eating anyway. My suit was lying next to it, neatly folded. That was warm, like it had just came out of the dryer. I put It on, and wrapped my self in all the blankets I could. I was freezing.

"De-Wade?" I called. After a few moments with no response I got up, blankets still wrapped around my shoulders. I stumbled into what must be the living area of the apartment. Deadpool was in a chair, looking absolutely exhausted. He looked at me sleepily.

"Peter, we were over this, Spidey needs his sleepy-time." He muttered.

I came and sat down on the ground next to his chair, laying my head on his leg. "Thanks Wade"

"OKAY, now I KNOW something's wrong!" He laughed. He picked me up bridal-style and carried me back to my room, putting me down gently on the bed. He looked at the soup. "You didn't even touch the food I made for you." He picked up the bowl and was heading out again.

I didn't want him to go. He was so nice and warm. "Wait!" I yelled, sitting up.

He looked back over his shoulder at me, "yeah?"

"...Stay with me?" I asked, thankful that my mask covered up how much I was blushing.

He walked to my bedside and put the bowl back down. He took my hand in his and sat down. "You're not gonna remember it so I better get this out now. I'll always stay with you, Peter. Whenever you need me, I'll be there. Because I love you. I always have."

-Wade-

I slept beside the bed in a chair after that. Peter didn't want me to leave him alone, he was slightly delirious with fever. So that's how things were for three days, and then his fever went down. I was glad he was okay, but, at the same time... I didn't want him to leave. {D'AAAWW Wade has a cruuuush} shut up.

Peter was about to leave. He and I were in the living space of my apartment. "Well, I guess I should go home now." He said after a long period of silence.

"Yeah."

"Thanks for taking care of me." He said.

"Anytime." I smiled.

I got the door for him. I felt like I was about to cry. But then he hugged me. His head resting on my shoulder, arms wrapped tightly around my waist. It wasn't exactly a "bro-hug." More like the way lovers embraced. I hugged him back.

"I still remember what you said." He whispered.

"What exactly are you referring to?" I laughed nervously.

"When you said you'd always be there for me, and..." He paused for a moment, "and that you loved me."

I gulped. I probably looked like a deer in a headlight. "You, uh.. Heard that, hmm?" I sighed, "listen, I'm sorry, and it's okay if you hate me n-"

"I love you too." He said.

My heart skipped a beat. I smiled, "well then," I dipped him like we were waltzing, "how you doin'?"

He laughed, "so is that a gun in your pocket?"

"Yes, definitely" I said sarcastically

He took his mask off and threw it aside. He was beautiful, especially his eyes. His big, beautiful blue eyes. I lifted my mask to just above my nose. I kissed him hungrily, slipping my tongue into his mouth at the nearest opportunity. After about ten minutes of that, I grabbed his growing erection. He flinched and broke the kiss, and he fell to the floor. I stumbled back against the door.

"I... Should go..." He panted, scrambling to his feet.

"What did I do?" I frowned.

"Nothing... I just have to go..." He looked at the ground, avoiding eye contact.

I nodded and opened the door for him. He was about to leave, but I stopped him. "Are you gonna... Come back?" I asked, a little scared the answer would be no.

This time he did look me in the eyes. "Yeah. I am." He gave me a kiss goodbye and left. I closed the door and sunk to the ground.

I sighed, "What the fuck just happened?"


End file.
